A woman goes to a
private residence to a private party with seven men. While she was on nodding
terms with some of them, she really didn't know any of them particularly well.
Sounds like the start of a news story, right? That woman's going to come to some
kind of harm, and then people will ask her what she was thinking going home
with a bunch of dudes she didn't know very well.
Well, that's exactly
what I did last night. I went to draft with a new playgroup of guys, some of
whom I met at the local gaming shop. I had a great time and didn't come to any
harm at all (apart from my 1-2 record), but I had some serious second thoughts
about attending. It wasn't just me either - my partner was quite worried about
my safety - particularly as he was working and wouldn't be able to come to my
aid if I needed it.
Even though there
were all the pieces in place for me to not be afraid, I was still pretty wary.
So if you're wanting to invite someone who's not a dude to your all-dude
playgroup, think about some of the following to help you make your playgroup a
more welcoming place, regardless of gender identity.
Be the
kind of person non binary people and women want to play with
Women and non-binary
folks can get all kinds of unwanted attention at the game store. While it might
be that nothing's said, when you walk into a store and feel a bunch of eyes on
you, you're going to feel uncomfortable, even unsafe.
The vast majority of
women and non-binary folks are at a Magic event to play Magic. They sure as
hell aren't there to pick up, and they probably are more interested in talking
about their sweet new Jaces rather than how its great that women/non binary folks
can play magic now. (Trust us, we know.)
In addition, if you
have half naked women on your slips or playmat, you're sending a signal that
you are ok with publicly objectifying women. If you're OK with being seen in
public to be playing to some of the very worst stereotypes of MTG culture, what
might you do in private? Other people will make assessments on what they see of
you in public, so if you want to be welcoming, think about the messages you're
sending, both verbal or not verbal. If you've made a woman or non-binary person
feel uncomfortable in a store, chances are there's not a way in hell they're
going to want to hang out with you and a bunch of dudes in a private context.
Location,
Location, Location
A huge
recommendation is: if at all possible, invite a newbie to a playgroup meeting
in a public place - such as at your local gaming store, a pub or another public
location. Think of this like a first date - you wouldn't go on a first date
with someone in a private venue such as a house, as there are too many
unknowns. It might not be OK with the store owner if you want to draft with
your own cards in their store, and you might need to find somewhere else to
play if that's the case - but if you can make it a public location, this gives
any women or non-binary players the peace of mind that they can leave any time
they want to if they feel uncomfortable.
If there's simply no
other choice, and you need to play at someone's house, make sure that it's
clear that they can bring a friend if they want to. Also, if they are texting
throughout the session, don't be offended that they are not paying attention to
the game - they may be updating a friend that they are safe and don't need any
assistance.
By being
a bit understanding of some of the safety and comfort issues that non binary
folks and women face, you are going to make it a lot easier to get women and
non-binary people involved in your local community.
